Team Stella Stars!

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Team Stella’s Stars is All Geared Up and Ready to Ride for YOU Stella!

We’re ready Stella.  Your Auntie Juju just bought a bike.  That’s right.  She bought a black bike and she’s clipped in – just for you.  Fred has been sitting on our mantle all year, right beside your Dora doll and the Stella doll that looks just like you.  In less than two weeks, I will take Fred off of her perch and carefully pack her in my bag along side of the chicken that you used to torment me with.  I have the velcro that we’ll need to adorn our bikes with photos of your beautiful face and ties to secure Fred and chicken to our handle bars.

We’re ready.

We’re ready to push ourselves far enough out of our comfort zones that we wonder if we’ll ever come back and we’re ready to tax our bodies beyond imagination.

We’re ready to ride for YOU.

There’s something about this ride that makes me feel so close to you – like you’re here with me.  Second only to the feeling I get when I stand in the door way of your room, which is now your little brother Hugo’s room.  The first time I did this ride it had only been 10 months since you died in my arms.  It was the first time in two years that I felt strong – physically and emotionally.  I was so proud to wear your face on my back.  Proud, comforted and sickened all at the same time.  Never, in my worst nightmares, did I ever imagine that it would be me who was wearing a shirt with my dead daughters face on it.  That was always someone else – the parent in that tragic story I read about on the front page of the paper – and now that person was me.

My Stella’s Stars jersey’s are folded, clean and ready.  Your Auntie Juju and I can’t wait to throw them on and join hundreds of other riders in pedalling our hearts out to do something that’s truly extraordinary – send kids to camp.  The funds raised from this incredible ride go towards making kids lives better.  Kids just like you, Stella, will get the chance to experience the magic of camp.  They’ll get the chance to realize that they’re not alone.  They’ll have the chance to make friends and to have fun.  You would have loved camp – I just know it.  From the day you were born, I had it all planned out.  You would go to Camp Tanamakoon when you were 7.  That day never came and there is a special place in my heart for the loss of what could have been.  I never had that chance to send you to camp but this bike ride gives me the chance to help send kids just like you to camp.

So this week, I will clean my bike, pack my gear and wait patiently for August 14th to arrive.

I know you’ll be sitting over your shoulders cackling your head off all the way as we huff, puff, spit and sputter our way up the endless hills just hoping that one of us will fall – something that I know you would find more humour in than anything on earth.  When my legs ache and my throat burns and I don’t think I can make it up one more hill – I will think of you.  I will remember the look in your eyes as you used your whole body to try and muster up the strength to stick your tongue out to communicate the word “yes”.  I will remember the day that you taught yourself to hold a paint brush between your teeth when cancer stole your ability to use your hands.  I will remember the sound of your laugh and I will remember what it felt like to hold you in my arms.

On August 14, 2015- I will ride for you big girl.

Please help give kids like my Stella the chance to go to camp by sponsoring our ride!

To donate click on the following link:

https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/FundraisingPage.aspx?registrationID=2697865&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=%26Referrer%3dhttp%253a%252f%252fwww.tourforkids.com%252fontario%252fdonate%252f#&panel1-1

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